5 Lessons Learned About Marriage (so far) - TréCreative Tips&Tricks
Marriage is a beautiful gift. Each weekend when we photograph our TréCreative couples, we are reminded of the importance and joy that marriage can bring!
Our hearts are that our couples would be able to look back on their wedding photos and video and even on the hard days remember why they chose each other! Our TréCreative couples and their families teach us so much. Each weekend we are introduced to amazing people with equally amazing stories. At these weddings we have seen faithful parents and grandparents witness new vows being made right in front of them! TréCreative couples value marriage because many have seen it modeled well. We're lucky to have the same from our families. In the last few years, both of our sets of parents have hit the 30-year marriage mark! 30 years! What a beautiful legacy.
Now, we'll be completely honest. We're no marriage experts, not even close! Sometimes we do a good job of putting the other's needs before our own and loving each other well. Other times, we completely mess up and our imperfections show right out in the open! With traveling, dirty dishes and an occasionally messy home, we've learned some valuable lessons even just this past month. Here are some lessons about marriage we've been learning as of late.
- Love Isn't a Feeling – We've heard this over and over again from wise mentors, from our parents, and even at weddings. It's totally true! Hollywood portrays perfect love stories that always are "Happily Ever After...and all the time" right? Not exactly. In any relationship, sometimes you have to fight to love one another, dig deep, and really choose to love that person through anything! This sounds harsh at first, but choosing to love each other through life stages, growth and imperfections is a powerful thing!
- Spend Time Away From Each Other – Now most couples who don't work together 24/7 might want to do the exact opposite of us, but Stephen and I have learned lately that we both need our space! Don't get us wrong, we LOVE working together and think our strengths we can better serve our couples as a team. But in our married life, after working together all day, we sometimes just need to chill, get out of the house, and take a breather. I need time to recharge and be with people (I'm the extrovert). Stephen needs alone time without me hovering over his shoulder (you guessed it... introvert, or ambivert as he calls it). When we give each other space, the time that we do have together is much more meaningful and we appreciate the other person's presence more. Again, this tip is for us personally, we are together all the time. If you spend the day away from your loved one, you may want to do the opposite of this!
- Kiss Each Other At Least Once a Day – Now you might be thinking one of two things right now. First off, gross! Don't talk to me about that. Second, "Wait, duh! This one's easy". Well for us, it doesn't come as easy. Another thing about working together is there's never a time when we're leaving each other to go to work. There's no "goodbye kiss". In the past, we've gotten so used to being around each other that we have forgotten the importance of a sweet little kiss. The more we have those unplanned and spontaneous interactions, the more special it becomes!
- Admit You're Wrong - This definitely a huge area I need to work on. I've learned how powerful it is to admit when you mess up that you were wrong! It's a hard thing for me to swallow my pride sometimes. Apologizing and admitting one's own wrongdoing has been so good for our marriage. It makes the other person feel acknowledged and valued and those simple words can really diffuse most arguments.
- Admin Mondays - This tip was recommended by a friend of ours Nicole at our local Tuesdays Together meetup. It's definitely a business tip but it has been great for our marriage as well! Every Monday we sit down side-by-side and tackle our inbox, finances, and other non-creative admin tasks around the house and office. This helps us set ourselves up well for the week both in our marriage and professionally! I can't believe we haven't implemented doing this sooner, it's a game changer!
We'd love to hear in the comments what you have learned about relationships, marriage or more topics you'd love to hear us talk about here on the blog :D